Ugly writing
Ugly English uses fancy words and/or long, difficult sentence structure. Readers need a map and a dictionary to find their way around the text! A good example of ugly English is this from a travel brochure: As you stumble upon the exquisite little offerings left all over the island that materialise as if by magic, you'll see that their tiny tapestry of colours and textures is a metaphor of Bali itself. Did you keep going until the end of the sentence or did you give up? The 'exquisite little offerings' comes out of nowhere. There is no explanation in the previous sentences. And what 'materialises'- the island? The offerings? The sentence makes the reader struggle. Readers don't want to struggle. They just want the information.
When this sentence was analysed for readability* it was 21.6 points In other words it is difficult. I tried to rewrite the text:
People leave offerings to their gods all over the island. You find these suddenly in many places. The colours, feel and look of these offerings reminds you of the variety and richness of Bali itself.It's not great but the readability of this text is 57.5 points, i.e.'quite easy'.
Word frequency and readability
There are about (it’s impossible to say exactly how many) 250 000 distinct words in English, but we only use about 10% of these words regularly. This is 'word frequency'- how often words are used. So, for example, 'that' is ranked the 8th most common word in English. 'Materialise', on the other hand is ranked 20 176th! There's a good chance a native English speaker would not know this word, and a second language English speaker would almost certainly not know 'materialise'. When you choose words to write, always keep the audience in mind and use words that they are likely to know.
Bad writing
Writing may be 'bad' because it is inaccurate, such as poor spelling, punctuation or grammar. Or it may be the wrong use of words, or words left out of sentences. For example, We are cycling in a farm road through the pineapple and rice fields at 36 kilometres. We can guess that 'in' is meant to be 'on', and probably the pineapples and rice are not growing in the same field. But what about 'at 36 kilometres'? Is it 'at 36 kilometres per hour'? Or 'for 36 kilometres'? Bad writing makes readers confused. Also when the writing is not accurate, the reader has a low opinion of the company because the company hasn't bothered to proofread the material before it was published. Sometimes the writing is so bad that it is impossible to even guess what it means. For example, Real legends coming from the Tunnel are over human imaginativeness. When readers are faced with a sentence like this, they look for a rubbish bin or their mouse to click to a new website.
Translation
The sentence 'Real legends coming from the tunnel are over human imaginativeness' is probably a writer trying to translate from one language into another, in this case English. Transposing from one language to another doesn't work! Different languages usually don't work the same way.
City authorities in non-English-speaking countries have often tried unsuccessfully to translate information signs into English. One famous example is this in a Shanghai Metro station: 'After first under on, do riding with civility'. Apparently it means something like: Be polite. Let other passengers off before boarding (the train). But, of course, to a user of English it is meaningless. It is a direct translation using the Chinese words and sentence structure. Ideas can be translated, but usually not words.
So, when you write in English, always remember your audience. Before you publish, check
• will the audience be able to read and understand the words easily?
• is the writing accurate? (spelling, punctuation, grammar, word order)
• is this real English or a direct translation from my language?
* Readability simply means how easy or difficult a text is to read. It is based on vocabulary, sentence structure and accuracy (spelling, punctuation etc.)
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